The List

I have shared this list before, but a friend recently asked for me to find the list again so rather than just email it to her I thought I’d share it with everyone again.  Abuse comes in all shapes and sizes.  It can be physical, or sexual but it can also be emotional.  I have often said that the scars from emotional abuse I’ve dealt with take longer to heal than any other.  Everyone is different but here is a list of red flags that my mom and I saw after my divorce.  

Some may seem like no brainers to you, and you might even laugh when you think that women would put up with some of the behaviors but you shouldn’t.  Remember, they don’t often smack you around on the first date.  It starts slow, sometimes methodically  breaking you down till you are a shell of the person you once were.    

Nussbaum’s List of Red Flags:

  1. He pushes too far, too fast, planning your future together right away.
  2. He hates his mother and is nasty to her.
  3. He wants your undivided attention.
  4. He must always be in charge.
  5. He always has to win.
  6. He breaks promises all the time.
  7. He can’t take criticism and always justifies his actions.
  8. He blames someone else for anything that goes wrong.
  9. He’s jealous of your close friends, family members, and all other men.
  10. He always asks you where you went and whom you saw.
  11. He has extreme highs and lows that are unpredictable.
  12. He has a mean temper.
  13. He often says you don’t know what you’re talking about.
  14. He makes you feel like you’re not good enough.
  15. He withdraws his love or approval as punishment.
  16. He pushes you to do things that make you feel uneasy, like taking the day off from work or even breaking the law.

One thought on “The List

  1. It DOES start slowly. Until the day you find yourself tied to a man you really don’t know, who has caused you to not only move away from family and friends but to distance yourself from them… and you feel like you have no way out.
    There but for the grace of God and some very amazing friends and family go I.

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