Can you take it?

I always have anxiety leading up to my cardiology appointments.  I want them to say:

“Things are looking great, there has been a lot of improvement.  Lets start trying to get you off all these meds.”

Instead I got this today:

“We really aren’t sure what is still wrong, and why things aren’t getting better.”

In November of this year it will be 4 years since I was diagnosed with the Pregnancy Associated Cardiomyopathy.  Since JD’s pregnancy I haven’t had a full day where I feel good.  I will have moments, even hours where I feel awesome.  Never a full day.  It is starting to get discouraging beyond belief.  I don’t even want to be with the support groups anymore because it’s hard to see other women recover and me still be at a standstill.

Today the cardiologist not only gave me to go ahead for exercise.  They told me to find a cardiac rehab program and see if it will help things in the next few months.  Kind of a, lets see if it helps or kills you approach.

If it doesn’t start to help then in 4 months the doctors want to do cardiac catheterization where they go in through the arteries of my neck to check some things in the heart.  I would love to avoid this, so it’s time to see if my heart improves with exercise.  At least I am FINALLY cleared all these years later to try serious exercise.

I know things could be worse.  I know I am blessed to have my two miracles.  I just want to be able to take care of them without feeling lazy all the time.  😦


3 thoughts on “Can you take it?

  1. Certainly NOT lazy! You are a wonderful mother, and I am grateful for the example u show me! So glad my brother married such a wonderful woman! I ❤ u!

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