Today started out pretty normal. I got up and helped Jer get the kids ready for the day and then headed off to School. I was excited for the day because I was going to have lunch with some of my “Heart Sisters” (other women that developed Paripartum Cardiomyopathy). I loved the last time we got together. It is so nice to be able to talk to other women who are going through the same thing. That deal with raising kids and having a fraction of the energy you once did due to a bum heart… anyway… I was so excited.
We rushed up to SLC after JD got off the school bus. He was pretty good in the car on the way up. We talked about how we were going to lunch and we would go play at a park after.
First problem, we were late so the last ones there. We walked up to the table with strangers at it and JD went berserk. I handed off Gwen and took JD out to the front. The bigger he gets the harder it is for me to pick him up or control him. After who knows how long (felt like an hour) I finally get him to walk to the table without screaming (third try), but the minute I sat back down he started up AGAIN. I was so upset as I realized that it wasn’t going to happen, and that an autistic meltdown was going to change our plans. I wish I could say this is rare but recently these meltdowns are getting worse, especially in public. I think it is a combo of him just growing up and school break messing up his schedule.
My awesome Heart Sisters offered at this point to ditch Mimi’s Cafe and head over to the Chick Fil-a because there was a play area. That was magic, and JD played the entire time while we were able to chat and I got over my embarrassment of the Cafe episode. I feel like we are at a stage with him where we are tightrope walking between Autism and Spoiled. A lot of his behavior is because of the Autism. I know for a fact that if we had been the first ones at the table and everyone else came after it wouldn’t have been as big a deal. I’m not saying he wouldn’t have cared… but it would have been a bit better. I don’t want to push him harder than he can handle, but I want him to fit into society and us catering to his every whim isn’t the way to do it. We reach a point, like at the cafe, where we have to just cut our loses and realize plans have to change. We have missed functions with family and friends due to JD having a “Bad Day”.
He melted down again all the way home. We watched my cousin play soccer for an hour and he was great, I guessed it was just a bad afternoon… till he flipped out as we were getting in the car….and an hour and a half later he is still screaming and flopping around on the floor.
I think we will all be going to bed very early tonight.
Sorry, sometimes a mommy has to get it off her chest and I feel bad being negative on his blog we use for fundraising. Thanks to my awesome friends that made lunch still work out. You guys are amazing.