Day 45: A letter to yourself a year ago

Hey Bob,

I know you are scared about going back to school, but don’t be.  I’m not sure you want to know this now but you not only finish the Master Bodyworker program but you go back to UVU.  I know it’s a shocker. You are smart, too bad it took you so long to realize it.  Would have been so much easier when you were 19! Ha ha.

Now lets talk about Deeds.  I know that you just had a specialist come see him, and he qualified for Kids on the Move because he isn’t talking… but mommy you are just looking at the tip of the ice burg.  I don’t say this to scare you but I want you to know that you will probably be having a few mental and emotional breakdowns in the next year, and that is OK.  At first everything is scary and new but remember JD is still JD.  The quirky guy that he is.  Try the therapies, they will work.  Keep working hard and he will talk to you, keep on working.  I know it is hard that he doesn’t want to touch you.  Hugs end with screaming and he just wants Daddy but endure, it DOES get better.  It is a marathon not a sprint, and guess what?  There are so many other parents going through the same things you will be.  FIND THEM.  The support you can get from them is worth it’s weight in gold.  Cling to the positive, and let go of the negative.  Focus on the good and ignore the bad.  Your life will be dramatic enough, you don’t need to add to it by having people around that bring you down.

Pray, cling to Jeremy, cherish every moment with your kids.  Gwen grows up so fast.  It’s a new experience every day because she is so different from Deeds.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  There is a time and season for everything.  You will need a lot of help over the next year but remember one day it will be your turn to help others.

Love,

Me, well You…

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