Hopefully the End of a Bad Week

perfect_storm

I am not going to lie.  It’s been a pretty rough week.  A LOT of things came crashing down and my PMSing self didn’t handle them well.  I’ve been wound on a pretty tight string with family issues, money, an injured finger (very bad for a massage therapist), job interviews, job rejections, self doubt, decisions, school, parenting, the list goes on.  Tonight was the icing on the cake:

When I started school I made it a goal to get perfect attendance.  To achieve this you can’t ever be late or miss any classes.  I know myself and I knew that if I started to let it slide then it would be a struggle to keep up so I decided to try and not slide at all.  I have been 15-30 minutes early to every class (with very few exceptions) so that I was not late. The first term came and went and guess what… TADA I did it.  Perfect attendance and a 4.0 GPA.  This week I really started to worry that I wouldn’t be able to maintain the 4.0 because I’m struggling a lot with anatomy and finding time to study.  At least I still had my perfect attendance right!

WRONG

Our carpool left Lindon with an hour and 10 minutes to get up to the University of Utah for the Cadaver lab tonight.  Typically that would still give us time to spare for any slow traffic.  NOT tonight.  We knew about closures on I-215 and I-80, what we didn’t expect is an accident to happen at 1300 South and the State High School Football game at the U of U stadium.  Needless to say we walked into the Lab not quite 15 minutes late.  It was the perfect storm and it was out of our control.  Two out of the four of us had perfect attendance until tonight.

I handled it alright until I had to sign the roll to show I was late.  I put my head down and the pressures of the week just started to come out.  I couldn’t stop crying.  Ugh it was so annoying.  I would finally calm down and just focus on studying for the tests we had tonight (2 of them) but people kept coming over and asking if I was ok and I’d just cry again.  I finally started to tell people I didn’t want to talk and not to touch me.  I’m sure I hurt some peoples feelings but I would have NEVER stopped crying after the week I had if I couldn’t just put emotions away and focus on dead people and their muscles and bones.

Needless to say I no longer have perfect attendance.  Yes I’m going to try and fight it, I have news reports printed out about the accidents and football games.  I’m not holding my breath however.

I am sure there are many of you saying “so what”.  It’s not that I wanted it to put on some big grand resume.  It was a personal goal… something I’m really not good at.  I’ve set many personal goals in my life and achieved very VERY few of them.  I am aware I had no control over the game, or traffic, however in my state of mind tonight it didn’t matter.  I’d lost hold on something I’d really been working hard for.

I’m sure I’ll wake up in the morning and feel a bit better.  Since I do use the blog as a journal however you all get to listen to my ranting and stress.

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12 thoughts on “Hopefully the End of a Bad Week

  1. I say you were on time, since you showed up to the school in Lindon on time. Traveling from school to school should not be considered in the perfect attendance, unless there was absolutely no excuse as to why you are late. Sorry about that though, I know you were working toward that. I don’t think that I would count it though if it were me.
    Overlook that one freaky friday traffic day and work on keeping the record clean.

  2. I think it is great to have personal goals. Honestly, that is what makes us tick! As I am reading, I think everybody has had no good very bad day yesterday. I love you.

  3. I am right along with you on a lot of those fonts. Our car broke down last night to add a mess of things. An extra $350 we didn’t have to begin with. There must be some way to pull ourselves out of this destructive pit.

  4. After watching a “youtube” video of Elder Neal A Maxwell sent out by a friend on Friday night, (I did forward it on) I went to the BYU Speeches website to read the entire talk given by Elder Maxwell at BYU, 31 years ago, on October 10, 1978. I think that the Lord was directing me there. Maybe it will help you also.

    Elder Maxwell said, referring to part of the Plan of Salvation, “If, indeed, the things allotted to each of us have been divinely customized according to our ability and capacity, then for us to seek to wrench ourselves free of our schooling circumstances could be to tear ourselves away from carefully matched opportunities. To rant and to rail could be to go against divine wisdom, wisdom in which we may have once concurred before we came here. God knew beforehand each of our coefficients for coping and contributing and has so ordered our lives…

    “God bless you and keep you, my special friends, to the end that you will each carry out all of the assignments given to you so very long ago. You have been measured and found adequate for the challenges that will face you as citizens of the kingdom of God; of that, you should have a deep inner assurance. Be true to that trust, as all of us must, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.”

    I, too, can testify that our tests and trials here in our 2nd estate are tailored for our benefit and growth. This was such an A-ha moment for me that since I really did agree to this test I am living through, to rant or rail against it, is just plain dumb! I love you my dear!

  5. I am not sure that I totally agree with Cary. I think it is healthy to feel the way that you are feeling and I think that part of the plan is allowing yourself to understand those feelings and grow. It is not dumb, just part of the trial. Life is hard and full of disasters along the way. Sometimes it feels like it would be easier to hide under a rock until it is all over but still we endure because we know that it is the end that we are striving for. I wish you luck with fighting the perfect attendance. You deserve the perfect score and I don’t think that it is silly for wanting to complete that goal because it makes you stronger every time you accomplish something no matter how small. But have faith that no matter what happens you know that you were true to what you were planning and if you have to make a new goal that it will be perfect from this time on then so be it. You are strong Bobbie and you can weather this because you are strong and your testimony is even stronger. We love you Bobbie!

  6. You now sometimes, the week was just so bad, that it takes ONE thing that would normal be minimal to throw everything off.

    Sounds like that’s what happened. 😦 But At LEAST the week is over, and you have a day to rest them off to a new week and a brand new slate! 🙂 LIfe balances itself out, so after this junk week, your due for an AWESOME week!

  7. What a crappy night! I’m so sorry. I hate it when you do everything you can, and things still go wrong. Hopefully they will not count it as being late. I hope this week is better for you!

  8. I usually sing “just keep swimming, just keep swimming” and if I’m really aggravated, I do a little Nemo funky fin dance while I sing it..but I don’t know, “just focus on the dead people” has a certain ring to it. People would definitely stop coming around to comfort me if I was muttering that!!!

    Seriously though, hope that amazing bolt of lightning and spectacular twister have passed you by and you now have the Calm after a Pefect Storm. Maybe a rainbow too. Geez, is it too much to ask for people?!

  9. Ha ha, “just focus on the dead people. People would definitely stop coming around to comfort me if I was muttering that!!!”
    I totally just laughed out loud, Really! =0)

  10. I think it’s one thing if you are late because you were procrastinating or something, quite another if it’s because of traffic. And so I excuse your tardy. Don’t you feel better?!

    When I’m crying I can’t have people touch me either.

  11. Bummer. The only time I was late for class this semester was due to a traffic accident on the freeway where cars were backed up onto the freeway trying to get to a Lehi HS football game. I ended up 20 minutes late! I was so frustrated – I totally understand where you’re coming from!

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