Waiting

Two posts in one day, I’m on a roll!

I got a call today telling me that they need to reschedule my heart echo.  I’ve had the appointment next Monday for the past 6 months, so I was a bit frustrated that they called the Friday before to change it.  I now don’t go in until the 22nd.  I know it’s only an extra 8 days, but after waiting for 6 months it’s a bit agonizing to wait another week.  Steph said it’s like being 9 months pregnant and then going over by a week.  Yes, you’ve already waited 9 months, but the thought of one more week is torture.

So much is riding on this one stupid heart echo and I’m really trying not to stress about it.  It’s been causing me a lack of sleep for the past week or so.  For those of you that don’t know, I was diagnosed with Pregnancy Associated Cardiomyopathy (PACM) while I was pregnant with JD.  While I knew it was a big deal, it wasn’t till after JD was born that my OB told me they were honestly terrified about me delivering.  I’ve still been on heart medication since having JD.  They wait till 6 months postpartum to do the followup echo so that they can see the true effect labor had on my heart.  This one silly ECG could really be telling Jeremy and I a lot about our future.  Here are the possible results, and the ramifications of each:

  • Great: Heart has regained normal function, I’m given full release on the restrictions I’ve had (like exercise), and they start to take me off meds.  This outcome would also mean that the doctors would feel comfortable with the risk involved if we chose to have more children.  It would require a lot of monitoring during the pregnancy, and always a chance of relapse, but the odds would be in our favor.
  • Bad: My heart function is still below normal and I have to continue to be monitored and stay on medication.  We would not be able to have any more biological children (yes, I know we could adopt one day).
  • Worst:  My heart function has decreased a bit.  I would have to stay on medication and be put on even more meds.  Monitoring would continue, and once again, no more children.
  • Terrifying (but HIGHLY unlikely): My heart function is so low that they not only have to medicate me but we have to look at other options, the worse being a heart transplant.  This should NOT be the case because I’d be showing massive symptoms and would probably be in the hospital already.

I’ll keep you all posted.  Jeremy and I are almost positive that things have improved and everything will end well but I have still been mentally preparing just in case.

While waiting for a prescription today at the pharmacy I found these hidden mickey’s in their fence outside.  I’ve seen them before but this is the first time I’ve remembered to take a picture.  I just had to share.  If you don’t know what a hidden mickey is, go to my other posts about them here and here.

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6 thoughts on “Waiting

  1. I think you would know if something was wrong or worse. You’d feel different, you know? I vote your heart is better!

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