Out of the Mouths of Babes

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Yesterday I came across a situation where I thought I was doing good and going out of my way to help someone. The situation is one that could have been avoided, and I didn’t want anything to do with but when I was called and asked for help I decided it was the right thing to do. In turn I got scolded about something I didn’t even realize I’d done and ended up in tears for the better part of the afternoon. I was crying to my mom about it since I was with my family when it happened, my niece KK was in the car with us. She’s only 4 years old. I was saying how I felt bad that things ended the way they did, that I took the time to help someone (missed a movie mom paid for 😦 ) and now I felt like scum. KK then chirps up from the back seat. “Bobbie you don’t have a problem, they have a problem.” Mom and I couldn’t help that chuckle at this little four year old and her wisdom. After starting to cry about it again (I’m a boob, I know) KK replied “Ok, I’m going to cheer you up now.” And gave me a red carnation. I don’t even know where the cute twerp found the thing but it was very sweet.

My great grandmother used to tell my mom the no one means to hurt your feelings and if they do who’s problem is it? Not yours, it’s theirs. I grew up hearing that from my mother in turn. I am a lot more soft hearted than many think. I try to be strong. I come from a family of very strong women and it’s hard sometimes feeling like the weak link. I honestly try never to hurt people, and yet the past few months I am apparently not doing a good job and people are lashing out at me over things I never meant to be hurtful at all. I guess I need to stop caring so much and take the wisdom from my Grandma Olive and run with it.

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8 thoughts on “Out of the Mouths of Babes

  1. Kel’s philosopy is “Only a fool takes offense when no offense is intended” So many times I have been the fool. And like you I am too sensitive to all those around me. I don’t know the situation you are dealing with but I know that I have been in similar ones. Just remember that even if they are ungrateful you did the Christ like thing to do. You are an amazing person whom so many people love. Just remember your tenderness is one of the things that makes you great. And you are strong enough to realize that even though there may be tough people out there, there are still so many people who have been affected by your tenderness and love and will be forever changed because of it. YOu are truly amazing Bobbie!

  2. HI
    It’s the first day for me in this blogging world. However after reading this one blog its plain to see we have at least one thing in common, and that is we respect are own, and others privacy, for we reader’s have no idea of your situation, or the person, or people involved. It is obvious though that you suffered at someone else’s
    thoughtlessness.
    Is’nt it lovely how children can simply defuse our despair with simple cute icebreaking comments.

    I have come ( fortunatly, but years ago I would have said unfortunatly )To learn, It realy does’nt pay to go out of your way to help people, nor to lend, nor give someone money, thinking you are helping them, as they only resent you for it.
    wierd as this is, for it is a good person who would think otherwise,, trust me when I tell you it’s a wise person that knows this is sad but true.

  3. I am not sure I agree with the fact that it doesn’t pay to go out of your way. If you look at the eternal perspective charity is a wonderful thing. I never expect anything back in return when helping others, but I also don’t expect it to end in anger.

    Nic, I loved Kel’s thought. It’s so true and I guess I should think about that more. I am very foolish sometimes and take offence when I shouldn’t, however I often hold in my thoughts about it as opposed to lashing out at the person. I’m not saying I haven’t had issues with lashing out, but as a habit I try not to. Sometimes to a fault. (P.S. Thanks so much for your kind words.)

  4. I just sent you an email where Anthony was in your situation. It was way to long to post it on here. Anyway, I love you and everyone who meets you loves you and you know who to call if someone’s tires need to be deflated.

  5. Ahh, I love when you think you are doing what is best, and find out it’s not what ‘others’ want. On top of being pregnant…that is never easy. Hang in there girl… I LOVE YA’! 🙂

  6. Just this evening, I was badgered, hounded even, by someone I love for my advice. I said I didn’t know why I was being asked for advice because “Person X” never takes it anyway. After putting it off and avoiding it, I suggested some things that were taken badly. So “Person X” took their toys (so to speak) and went home! The point is MOTIVATION! I did not try to hurt “Person X” and you were only trying to help also! There was nothing in it for you or me. We were motivated by love but some people don’t deal that way and react either by attacking their benefactor (your case) or by playing the victim ( my case).

    One more thing… in great grandma’s day nobody probably really truly did mean to hurt others but our day is so much more corrupt and I have seen some extremely selfish and vindictive souls who love nothing more than to hurt, wound and maim (physically or emotionally). GreatGrandma’s admonition is still good though… it is THEIR problem!

    I like to repeat this to myself at times like these…
    I am the friend who urges me onward,
    I am the helper who won’t let me stop,
    I am the believer who pushes me forward,
    I am the coach who puts me on top.

    You are amazing!!

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