A week in review

Lets just start out with yesterday afternoon.  I was unloading groceries into the back of the car and JD was sitting in the cart still.  He decided to try and grab the other carts next to his and managed to dump himself out of the shopping cart and head first onto the asphalt in the parking lot.  I watched the entire thing and couldn’t get to him fast enough.  I felt like the worst mom ever.  He is ok now, believe it or not he doesn’t even have a bruise.  Mom spent the rest of the afternoon telling me all of her “worst mom ever” stories to make me feel better.

On a good note, yesterday afternoon mom and I watched Rachel Ray because our New Bishop and his family were on the show.  We wrote Cassie a little song and went and sung it to her after the show.  They are such great people.

Last Saturday mom and I were lucky enough to go to an all day Relief Society (the women’s organization at our church) event.  I actually taught one of the classes in the morning and I was terrified.  It went really well and it was awesome to get to know some of the other ladies at church a lot better.  The feedback and support I got made my week.

During the event I thought a lot about Jeremy.  I just want to let him and everyone else know how amazing he is.  I can’t even begin to explain how much he does for us and I am so grateful for everything.  We used to only see him on Saturday afternoons and Sundays but he recently changed his work schedule so that he goes in an hour later in the mornings and it makes a huge difference in my day.  Like most women I can be an emotional creature (usually once a month…) and he handles everything so well.  I can try and try to argue with him but he always stays calm and quiet.  I love him so much and JD couldn’t have a better daddy.  JD’s first word is “Dad” and I wasn’t sure if he knew what he was saying but the other day he looked at my phone with a picture of Jer on it and grabbed it smiling saying Dad.  It was too cute.

Thanks Jeremy for being an amazing man.

 

Temple Trip Tuesday

This morning we loaded up all JD’s stuff in the car and decided to go to Temple Square for lunch with him before we dropped him off with my cousins Nicola and Kelly. The flowers were simply breathtaking and it was a beautiful day to walk around. We ate at the Lion House (yummy). I took a TON of pictures, here are some of my favorites.

 

LDS or FLDS

I know I have many friends that read this blog that are not “Mormon” or part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints like I am.  I would hope that I’ve been open enough that if they ever felt the need to email or call me when they have questions they would.  However in light of the recent headlines dealing with the FLDS church in Texas I thought I would post and clarify that the FLDS church is in no way affiliated with the LDS church.    The media is not always accurate in it’s information about this and I just wanted to do my part to educate a little.  While polygamy was once practiced in the LDS church, it was for a brief time and the church  officially discontinued polygamy in 1890.   So no, I don’t have more than one mom.  I also don’t have horns and a tail (yes I’ve been asked, good grief)  To read the LDS church’s official news release about the polygamy confusion you can go HERE.

Now that I’ve said that I wanted to share this site with everyone.  The artwork alone on the home page can just calm my heart.

I worry sometimes about the kind of world we’ve brought our son into.  Things seem so backward and morals are something that very few people even think about anymore.  I have such a strong belief and testimony of the gospel.  The strength from that testimony has gotten me through some very rough times in my short life.  Focusing on eternity and strengthening my family can help bring things back into perspective when I get discouraged.  The day Jeremy and I were sealed for time and all eternity and not just until death do us part… I can never fully describe the peace and beauty in that moment.  Kneeling across from him and looking into the eyes of a man I knew I would be spending eternity with was so amazing.  The only thing that can compare to it is when I had JD.  Crying over my baby while he was sleeping.  My heart was full of joy, a feeling I never thought I could feel so strongly.  Knowing that he was our boy, sealed to us for eternity.  A small child of God that had been sent to us to teach, love and learn from.  I felt an amazing sense of unworthiness, who was I to be trusted with such a precious soul.  I pray daily for strength, that I might be able to have as much faith in myself as I know the Lord has in me.  To know why I’m here, and where I am going is a huge blessing.  I have been blessed with an amazing family. I have watched my mother kneel by her bed in prayer every night for years, every single night.  My grandparents (on both sides) mean more to me than I can ever say.  The lessons I’ve been taught by them inspire me, with their kinds acts of service, strength, love and faith I am blessed and grow.

I just want to end by sharing my testimony with all of you.  Doing so via a blog is unorthadox I know, but I need to share.

I know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true.  I have a very personal testimony about the Prophet, that he is truly a man of God.  I love the strong leaders that we have and the focus on family.  I know prayers are answered and that we are blessed in many ways, even when we can’t always see it.  I am thankful for the pioneers that passed through tribulation so that I may have the freedoms I have, to be able to so easily share my testimony.  I know the Book of Mormon is truly another testament of Jesus Christ.  I type all this with a very humble heart. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Just to end this blog I wanted to share one of my favorite songs with all of you.  I hope it helps to touch you and maybe make today a little brighter and lighten your burdens a little.

 

Church, Finally

I haven’t been to church since before JD was born, and even then it was only for an hour or so.  Today I went to church, and it was great!  Jeremy and I got there a bit late, we are still trying to get used to getting ourselves and JD ready and out the door for things on time.   Besides feeling loopy and having a hard time focusing thanks to the medication, it was a great afternoon.

When we got home mom helped me change the dressing on my incision.  It was the first time we were able to actually see it and I am glad mom was with me.  It was much bigger than I had thought it would be.  I’m still in a lot of pain, and I am not a fan of the medication because I don’t think it’s really taking the pain away… it’s just making me so loopy I don’t care that I’m in pain.  I have used an ice pack a few times today and it helps quite a bit.

JD is doing so much better.  The antibiotic seemed to help him within hours of him taking it.  I’m so thankful he’s doing well.  Tonight I heard him laugh for the first time.  He was smiling at mom and just let out a little airy chuckle.  It melted my heart.  He loves to push off of things with his legs.  You really have to watch out for it because if you aren’t expecting it he’ll send himself flying and you into a panic trying to catch him!

 

Lookin Fly

JD went to church for the first time yesterday.  I was asleep and Jer decided not to wake me since I’d been up all night.  I was sad I missed his first day but it was so nice to be able to sleep a bit.  Jeremy said he just slept in his car seat the entire time.

He left the camera in the nursery with pictures on it for me of JD all dressed up.  I am his mom, I know, but I think he’s the cutest boy ever.

I wish I could say he slept for 5 + hours last night, I would have even taken 4 hours.  He woke up every 2-3 hours to eat.  I think it’s a combo of a growth spurt as well as a bit of a cold.  He’s a little congested and has a titch of a fever.  I called the nurse and she told me I’m doing everything correct and to watch him through the night.  If he is still having problems tomorrow they want me to bring him in.  They were also worried to hear that I had him sleeping on his tummy.  I told her he breathes easier and we’ve tried everything else (inclines, sleep positioners, etc).  She finally said ‘Ok, but watch him really close.’  I’m already paranoid and sleeping on the love seat in the nursery so I’m not sure how much closer I could watch him.  My mom’s opinion is that its a wonder any of us lived since we all slept on our tummies.  The problem is that the nurses and doctors have drilled it into our heads that it’s not ok and so it terrifies me. 

This weekend Jeremy and I are celebrating our 2nd anniversary.  It feels like it’s been so much longer.  We have decided to make a full night of it.  We have a room booked at the Anniversary Inn and are going to eat at the Melting Pot.  Yay for tax return money.  Trish and Michael are going ot watch JD and KK is so excited.  It will be nice to get away just the two of us in our own little space for a whole 2 days.  We are both looking forward to it and very thankful that we have family support to help us out.

 

Catchin Up

Sunday: JD was blessed on Sunday.  My nephew “cheeks” (Michael) was also blessed on Sunday.  They did it at my parents ward, but since JD can’t go to church yet we blessed him at home after.  I tried to find him a cute little white outfit however after 2 days of tears and having to return anything I found because it was too big we just settled on a onsie and blue pants.  I think it makes him look like the ultimate old man.  He loved being bounced in the circle during the blessing and Jeremy did such a wonderful job.  It was fun to have both babies around during the weekend.  It’s amazing to look at Cheeks and JD and realize they are only 3 weeks apart.  JD looks so small.  Kailye started calling them “Fatty” and “Alien” instead of Michael and JD.  Oh the mind of a 4 year old.   

Monday: Jer had to work but most everyone else had the day off.  Since Katy was still in town all the girls (well and JD and Cheeks) went to see a movie.  It was fun to get away with everyone and JD is still pretty good through them.  Monday night was a big night for JD because he started to smile.  He even spit out his binky to smile at Steph.  We can’t get him to do it consistently yet.  When I can I’ll catch a grin on camera for you all.

Tuesday: Nothing much happened yesterday.  Jeremy and I had some long talks about me working or not.  We have some tough choices to make in the next few days.  Lots of prayers will be said while we try and decide what is best for our little family.

Today: It’s noon and I’m still in PJ’s needing to shower.  Sometimes working things around a newborn is fun!  JD is 5 weeks old today and it’s amazing to me how much he’s grown already.  The newborn onsies that were too big for him when he came home are a few days away from being to small!  Here are some pictures of the many faces of JD.

I have to return the rental car today.  We are still waiting on the check from the insurance company so we can go purchase our car.  I’m praying it comes tomorrow, more realistically however it won’t come till Friday.  Good news is that we know exactly what we are getting and have been working with the dealership for a few weeks now, so at least we won’t have to start from scratch. 

 

Update and Testimony

I’ve been a slacker with blogging recently.  I’m sure anyone out there who’s had a newborn will understand why.  JD is wonderful but the doctor was having us feed him every 2 hours for a while and WOW, that’s a lot of feeding time.  I have to say that Tivo is a nursing mothers dream.  Update time:

• JD: Doing well.  He had his two week check up yesterday and he’s already back up to his birth weight!  He’s also grown almost a full inch since birth.  He is starting to get chubby cheaks and we love him so much. We are lucky, he is a really good baby.  Since his feedings have been changed so much there is no schedule to speak of and that can make for some long nights.  I love it when Jeremy doesn’t have to work in the mornings and he can take one of the feedings during the night, helps with the sanity level.
• Dogs: They ran away this morning… hope they come back…no way I’m chasing them down with a 2 week old.
• Me: Saw the Cardiologist this week to check up on the med’s he put me on last week.  Things are going well, and it looks like after my next appointment I won’t have to see him again for 6 months for another Echo.  Last week when we were there they took my weight down and then checked it again Tuesday to see how much water weight I had been retaining.  I was SHOCKED when the scale showed a weight loss of just over 20 pounds, IN A WEEK!  He also joked that my face doesn’t look as fat anymore, thank goodness.  I am still on the Diuretics for another 2 weeks then hopefully I will be able to stop them and not have the water pile back on after that.  The fun news is that now I’m already under the weight I got pregnant at.  Granted my jeans still won’t button up, but all in due time.

We were all saddened by the passing of President Hinckley.  He was an amazing man and so vibrant and outgoing right till the end.  If only I could be like that at 97!  The growth the church had during his time as President was amazing and I always loved to hear him speak.  Listening to his words through the years did nothing but strengthen my testimony of the Gospel.  I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true.  The blessings I have had in my life are numerous, and I owe a lot to my parents for always being examples for us.  I have seen my mom kneel by her bed every night to pray since I was a small child.  Even now as an adult I have seen her continue to show her faith and pass that along to us and to her grandchildren.  In my mother’s kitchen/dining area is a beautiful picture of Christ and also a tile that says “Christ is the center of our home.  A guest in every room.  A silent listener to every conversation.”    Prayers are answered, maybe not how we would always like them to be.  I am so thankful, grateful, and blessed to know that I am sealed to Jeremy for not just time, but for all Eternity.  Having JD with us now, and knowing that he is also sealed to us as part of our Eternal Family is wonderful.  I can not even think of words to describe the peace and joy it brings to my soul.  I am thankful to have gotten the chance to hear the words of President Gordon B. Hinckley many times in my young life.  What a joyous reunion it must have been in heaven for he and his wife (she passed on in 2004).  I look forward to being able to hear words from the new Prophet when he is called.  In trying times like these, and in a world that is full of so many hardships it is such a comfort to have truth and light. I was so touched by an article about how thousands of youth dressed in their Sunday best to school on Monday to honor Pres. Hinckley.  What a testament to the man he was.

Gordon B. Hinckley
June 23, 1910 – January 27, 2008

We thank thee, O God, for a prophet
To guide us in these latter days.
We thank thee for sending the gospel
To lighten our minds with its rays.
We thank thee for every blessing
Bestowed by thy bounteous hand.
We feel it a pleasure to serve thee
And love to obey thy command.

–Hymn #19, LDS Hymnbook
Text: William Fowler, 1830–1865
Music: Caroline Sheridan Norton, 1808–ca. 1877

 

Enjoy the Rest?

Jeremy laughs every time he hears someone tell me to enjoy the rest or sleep I’m getting while JD is in the NICU.  I will be honest, I can sleep much more comfortably now than I have been able to for months, however the longest stretch of sleep I’ve had since I was induced was 2 hours.  You see because JD is being breast fed I am called down to feed him every 2.5-3 hours.  After I’ve fed him I come back and pump breast milk for between 15-25 minutes and then run it back down to the NICU so they have it for later when I am no longer in the hospital, just in case I can’t make it for a feeding.  It is true that I don’t have to change diapers, but other than that I’m trying to be as active in JD’s recovery and life as I can be right now.  I do have to say that my favorite time of day is the night.  My little Uno is most awake during the night time feedings and I love talking to him while he stares at me.  It’s the most amazing thing in the world and I’m eternally grateful for the blessing of family in my life.

Jeremy and I got the chance to go to Sacrament meeting here at the hospital today.  It was a unique experience to be in slippers and PJ’s while taking the sacrament but it was truly special to me.  The subject of the one speaker and all the hymns was “The Family”.  It was very hard not to be too emotional during the service.  I am truly blessed.  First for having the most amazing and supportive husband.   Secondly for finally being able to hold our little one in my arms.

JD is doing well, as a matter of fact there is a small chance that he may be able to come home this week sometime!  They are taking him off some of his medications and hopefully the IV will be out soon also.  He’s having a hard time maintaining his body temperature, but I have faith it will work out.  I’m trying not to get too excited but it’s hard not to when you here there is a chance!  I’m still staying in the hospital tonight and there is a decent chance I will be able to keep the room tomorrow also.  If not I’ll be spending a lot of time in the waiting room for the NICU.

On a lighter note… check out these ankles.  The swelling has been worse the past 2 days than it was when I was pregnant!  I have talked to the nurses and they say it’s normal for it to get worse before it gets better and just to remember to tell my Cardiologist on Tuesday.  I may be a chubby girl but I’ve always loved that I have thin ankles and not kankles… so much for that!

 

A Very Important List

Once a year or so I post the following list on my blog. I have a history of some different kinds of abuse and so when I have friends or family looking for advice I always dig up this list again. I wish I’d seen it before my first marriage, I’m not sure I would have payed attention to it like I should have but I still wish I would have known. I’m glad my ex-husband has taken care of his demons, it’s a hard thing to do and I’m truly happy for him. I believe however that everyone should approach relationship cautiously, especially being LDS and having such an eternal viewpoint. Eternity is a long time to struggle. Even basic respect is so important. I believe that if someone is showing some of these signs then it is a clear reason to step back, stop or at the least slow down. They obviously range in severity, but even some of the most simple can be very harmful.

After the divorce I had a really hard time becoming “Bobbie” again. I was constantly reminded by those that knew me the best that I wasn’t myself. I’d become a shell of a person and very submissive. I am sure many of you are laughing at the thought but after all was said and done, I felt like nobody, and that nobody would ever think I was somebody. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through, dealing with the “after” was at times worse than dealing with the actual abuse itself.

Jeremy also had to be very patient with me. He loves me unconditionally and that’s a great thing to know, but I had to learn it because I couldn’t trust at first. I struggled a lot while we were dating and during our first year of marriage. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I learned that in a healthy and loving relationship things can be very different. The trials I had in my life before have helped shape me into the person I am now. I am thankful for all the Lord has helped me through. I hope that you all read the list, share it, and keep it in mind always. You never know when you could be the one to help change a life for the better, or even save a life.

Nussbaum’s List of Red Flags:

1. He pushes too far, too fast, planning your future together right away.
2. He hates his mother and is nasty to her.
3. He wants your undivided attention.
4. He must always be in charge.
5. He always has to win.
6. He breaks promises all the time.
7. He can’t take criticism and always justifies his actions.
8. He blames someone else for anything that goes wrong.
9. He’s jealous of your close friends, family members, and all other men.
10. He always asks you where you went and whom you saw.
11. He has extreme highs and lows that are unpredictable.
12. He has a mean temper.
13. He often says you don’t know what you’re talking about.
14. He makes you feel like you’re not good enough.
15. He withdraws his love or approval as punishment.
16. He pushes you to do things that make you feel uneasy, like taking the day off from work or even breaking the law.

 

Stake Conference and SNL?

My aunt sent an email around about an unusual Saturday evening session of stake conference.  Apparently they Stake Presidency is pretty high tech and often use things like power point presentations during their talks.  This is what they viewed this time around:

How perfect is that!  While we laugh at how the people seem dense for not getting it, how often do we ignore good advice and counsel?  How often are we told something that should be simple and we complicate it by trying to dance around it and find the exception.

Jeremy and I have been trying very hard since we got married to get rid of debt. The crazy thing is it’s debt we each had before we got married, not debt we acquired together.  The past years have taught me the difference between wants and needs.  We have learned to say that we couldn’t afford to go and do things.  We have also learned that while we love everyone we can’t afford extravagant gifts for holidays and birthdays.  It can be a painful process and we have had our share of learning lessons but I can’t wait till it’s all gone.  Even the car will be paid off in the next year or so.  Having little Uno on the way has really pushed us into high gear.  Knowing that you are going to be responsible for not only yourself but a child can really yank things into perspective.  We are praying that we can get all the debt, with the exceptions of Student Loans and the Car, taken care of  before the baby. I used to think it would never happen but with us living at home with mom and dad it’s starting to look it might just happen.  WAHOO.  It’s such a thrilling feeling.  The sad thing about debt is that you use money you don’t have to buy things you don’t need.  Then years later when you are still paying for it you can’t even remember what it is you purchased.